He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
