My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Randomize
