we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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