who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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