I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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