the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
