It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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