plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
