i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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