Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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