I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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