You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
