Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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