awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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