Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
