Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
