how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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