I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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