I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
we made out on top of his cat.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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