I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
