Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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