fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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