You just made me feel so damn special
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
