Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
