I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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