Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
