HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
