she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
