he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
