Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
