Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
