remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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