He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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