i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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