I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
