please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
