Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
