I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize