i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
