I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Panties = found
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
