my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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