I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
