Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
