If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize