I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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