Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
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