Where did you get a picture of my penis
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
