dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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