ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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