I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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