Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
