i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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