you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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