Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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