Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
