I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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