Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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