dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
