just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I would ride that face into the sunset
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
