So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
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