As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
