Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We left the knife in your bed.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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